Are You Sexually Compatible5

There was an immediate attraction
2

Was seeing your partner lust at first sight?
  • There was an immediate attraction
  • Not really but she’s become more attractive to me over time.
  • I’m still figuring out how attracted I am to her

Yes, even when I could use a shower
2

Does she like how you smell?
  • Yes, even when I could use a shower
  • I have no idea
  • She wants me doused in cologne

Very well
2

How well do you get along outside the bedroom?
  • Very well
  • We don’t have much in common.
  • We don’t have much in common but the sex is great
Sexual compatibility shouldn’t be confused with relationship compatibility. People can have a great time together sexually even if they don’t care for each other’s company beyond that. Liking a person’s personality or having similar interests can be a nice plus however. “Those things may not play into initial attraction at all, but will play strongly into longer-term attraction, and maintenance of intimacy over time,” says Devore.

My mind drifts off at random but I remind myself to pay attention
1

What goes through you mind when you’re having sex?
  • I’m so lost in the moment I don’t even remember
  • My mind drifts off at random but I remind myself to pay attention
  • Various stresses, like a work problem or worries that the sex isn’t going well

Way Less
YOUR RESULTS 10
0

Is she as passionate as you are?
  • Yes
  • Way More
  • Way Less

It’s come up a couple times
1

How comfortable are you discussing what you like in bed
  • Yep, we go there
  • I’m terrified of telling her what I want or finding out she wants something I can’t do for her.
  • It’s come up a couple times

Certain parts could be a little bigger or smaller.
1

How well do you fit together anatomically?
  • She and I agree, we go well together.
  • Certain parts could be a little bigger or smaller.
  • Various stresses, like a work problem or worries that the sex isn’t going well.

Some days work out better than others
1

How often is she in the mood at the same time as you?
  • Some days work out better than others
  • We always want to get busy at the same time
  • Our schedules are a barrier to our sex lives

Some days work out better than others

None, it seems unnecessary.
0

What kind of efforts do you put into spicing things up?
  • We’re always getting inspiration from movies, TV, and the Internet
  • Valentine’s Day and birthdays are extra special occasions
  • None, it seems unnecessary.

13–18 points
A solid match with an impressive level of partnership. Similar desires, thoughtful effort, and some biological luck pay off. But don’t get too cocky. Maintaining this level of compatibility will probably require extra work. “If they want to maintain that level of mutual excitement, they are going to have be good and honest communicators of their various interests and distractions sexually,” says Devore, “and be supportive of mutual experimentation, at least in fantasy (if they have a monogamous agreement).”
6–12 points
This level of sexual compatibility is probably where many couples are or will be at some point. “All couples’ sense of attraction to one another waxes and wanes,” says Devore. “Sexual tastes may change over the life term, and they may go through periods of being less compatible.” When sexual compatibility feels like it’s at a low, Devore says people might need to make some moves to spice things up. Unless someone is hiding a major sexual curve ball, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. Even small pushes to address lackluster sex (try these 10 ways to spice up your sex life) can lead to fantastic improvements.
0–5 points
There are some signs that things could be better. If everything but the sex is great, don’t worry too much. Try to figure out what the problem might be. Stress, being uncomfortable exploring and discussing sex, or simply not giving a sexual relationship some TLC are common issues. If the problem seems too big to handle, a sex therapist might be able to offer some techniques to work through incompatibility or at least provide an objective perspective on the situation. If the incompatibility is more personal or emotional, Devore says a marriage or relationship counselor is more appropriate.

1

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